i feel sad

do u have a period of time in ur life...... that something make u feel sad or bad?

well i had. when i was child i don't have many friends. i am the one who is the dumbest in the class ( or at lease i felt that way).........i am the one that is ugly and fat. every day in school or any where there will be something happen to me.......... to cry for it every night. i have good friends but everytime i with them i feel stupid. they are not the popular kid in the school they are count as smart kid. what they say make me feel sad and u know what my parents agree with them.

what my parents do everytime they meet my friends is telling me how smart they are and how stupid i am, i should do what they think is right, they are my good friends. everytime they meet others people they will do the same thing, tell them how stupid i am. i know it's kindda asian culture to do so but it made me felt so bad about myself.

all that feeling is change when i came to USA. here i am the smart kid. everyone come to me for answer to their problems, i am the one who know every thing in the book, i am the one that everybody wants to be my friend. i got all "A" in classes. u can call me .........um.....something apple......HEHEHE........i can't remember now. well another name for me is teacher pet. what make me write this blog is because my dad has met one of my old friends. he told me how good-and-smart-looking she is. just that.......... every bad memory all come back to me. so i mailed to him that i don't want to hear anything about them anymore...... enough is enough......i don't want to go back to have the same feeling i used to have....... now i am smart person......i am the one that people come to me for answers. i don't want to go back.

u know what funny about me? when i was in my country i am fat. people call me pig and others name. but when i am here in USA........HEHEHEHE..........they think i am too skinny.....they told me i am beautyful ..........i have nice finger nails that they don't and got to buy the fake one....seriously they think i have something like expensive fake nails on my figers that make it look natural..........i have beautiful and soft hair ....everyday my new friends have to come and touch my hair (i was like ..hey...what r u doing!!!!).........i can't believe it in the first time i heard.

when i went back to my country they think i lost some weight.......which i actually gain.......... i look at my old pic of me when i was child........ i wasn't fat........kids around me were so skinny........u actually can see their bones. well u can imagine asian kids...... how they look. now i have same weight........ of what they have in my country......and i haven't lose any weight.

i am feeling better now after writing this blog.